A Polish man with a machine gun ruined my hearing when I was twenty.

I own and occasionally wear a kilt.

I sneezed on a display case containing one of Abraham Lincoln's hats.

When I was five, I unwittingly kicked a rattlesnake in the head. Twice.

Those are stories I like to tell about myself. Now I intend to make a living by telling stories about brands. Click around to see my work, or click below to see me in person.